When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
