The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
