We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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