at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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