i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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