Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
