Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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