My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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