dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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