wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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