This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
