ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
