We won't sleep together?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
