Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
