I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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