Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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