is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
