Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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