Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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