I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
