He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
