that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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