my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
