the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
