So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
