I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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