i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
