your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
