I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
