ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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