There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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