You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
