so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
