Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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