O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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