I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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