I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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