I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
