if i can run in heels then i can drive
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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