At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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