I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
