there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
