erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
