What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
