that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
