I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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