it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
