Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
