fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
How naked do you want me to be?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
