you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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