i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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