that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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